Blog Me Oh My

Letting Go

How do you know when to let go?

From the time I can remember, I have always visualized myself as an entrepreneur. A big shot, working hard to make the money, having all the opportunities for myself and my family. I have grown up, got an engineering degree and also got married. I still want that dream of being a hardworking entrepreneur. However, my logical part of me says it’s time to let it go. Why?

Well because I have tried to start businesses. I have tried my hand from t shirt selling to subscription box. Even thought of some engineering related business but they were too expensive to come to fruition the way I want it. And I really want it the way I want. I know that businesses require time, patience, hard work and lots of capital. There has to be a point when you say that maybe, that is not the path you are supposed to take in your life.

I am young (not that age matters one bit), don’t have big responsibilities yet (like kids, mortgage etc), have time to explore many different possibilities in my life. So even though my logical part of my brain tells me to stop acting so reckless and just settle down with the typical path of house, kids and a 9-5 job to support all the wants and needs. I still want to give myself a chance. I am going to do both. I am going to compromise with myself. I am going to work at 9-5 job to help support my family and work on the side at a business until the business can help us thrive. If the business doesn’t work out, I will still have a job to fall back on. Letting go should not be the only choice (unless it is hurting people). Sometimes, compromising with yourself helps.  So yes, I am letting go of my 100% reckless dream. However, I am replacing it with 50% reckless dream and 50% my logical plan. Everyone’s happy. I am happy, I know my husband will be happy :p and my future, well it looks like it will be bright

– The lazy kind

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Peace with yourself

I wish, I dream, If only things were different! These are the words people like to say a lot when they are not satisfied by something in their life. However, what happens when it is your entire life that you are not satisfied with. What if you feel like your entire life was a lie. A lie that you created. You become a fraud in your own life. It is not anyone else’s fault but yours. And you have no way out. Your life starts to feel like a prison.

STOP. This is where you need to stop thinking about how to move out of your life. This is when you need to ask for help and/ or figure out how to fit in your life more. One key piece of information that people, including me, seem to forget often is that it is your life. You have the power to change it. However the change only happens if you are willing to make the difference. For example, if you want to lose weight, get yourself walking. If you have medical problems preventing you from losing weight, get help from a professional. I know that when you have a mental issue that prevents you from living your life to the fullest, it is not your fault. However, if you don’t make the effort, no matter how small, there would be no change. And this is why I believe in the power of communication.

Communicating not only helps people understand each other, it helps people provide solutions to the problems on hand. Talk to yourself. Sometimes, that is the most effective way of solving your own turmoils. There is nothing wrong with telling yourself how you feel. Be true to your own feelings. This should help with the fraud feelings in your own life. If you can’t talk to yourself, then write to yourself. If you can’t do that, meditate. Essentially take some time for yourself. Give yourself a break and start to enjoy your own company. Try to notice more of the things that make you happy. Challenge yourself to explore more about yourself. Your fears, happy and unhappy thoughts. Explore them and make them the exciting parts of your life. Come to peace with yourself.

 

Dull life or struggle for a fulfilling life

Its been 9 months since graduation; no relevant job in my chosen career path. Just drifting away at this mindless life right now. The feeling of despair and frustration that sets in everyday as soon as I wake up. People around me keep saying that I just need to give it some time. Maybe its the economy and that soon we will be out of this recession. Things should start looking up soon and I get that. I am waiting for that time when everything will be good. There is calm in my mind for five minutes before the looming presence of despair and feeling of hopelessness creeps back in.

frustrated-woman-pullingouthairbPicture : dawninggenealogy.blogspot.ca

Countless resume to companies to get that perfect engineering job. Countless hours trying to perfect that resume. Networking (just short of begging) has become a word that I have come to hate. It seems like whatever I do, its not grabbing anyone’s attention. Sometimes I fantasize about living somewhere far away from the civilization and just LIVE.

Today a sudden panic attack made me realize that if I keep waiting for things to “look up”; I might be wasting the precious time that could be used for my other ambitious wants. Starting with simple things like getting back into the habit of reading and writing to bigger things like starting my own business. FYI: My goal was to start a consultancy after I have gained experience and my P.Eng.

As a painfully shy person I always wanted to know how it feels like to step out of my comfort zone of being in front of the world (internet). Yes, I am so shy that even sitting behind a computer and writing made me cringe.  I decided that I am going to do just that. Work on myself until I can get a job in my field. Work on business ideas that I used to think about during my university years. Try something different than the path that I thought would lead to a happy life.

So here I am writing this blog on an online platform for anyone if interested to read. All I am saying is that sometimes you are your own worst enemy; and the only way out is to challenge yourself to do the impossible.

Would love to hear from you all about how you deal with similar situations!

Talk to me, send me an email or just message me Hi!

Lots of love,

thelazykind

Purpose (Lazy – ing in)

Woohoo first post ever! Who would have thought that I would be putting my laziness out for the world to see. This is a kick on my butt to get things done though. SO forgive me, if you thought this blog would be about lifestyle. We might have some of those, so bear with me while I get my life in order.

I believe everyone has a lazy but very confusing phase. I am seeing that especially now that I am going through this confusing phase. You know the phase,the one right after university and that dream career (or any career, I say) as day by day I become more desperate for my bank account to go in the positive direction. So what do you do?

Trust me when I say, I work hard if I am given work. And I did work. However, somewhere during the last five years of my life, I started questioning why am I working so hard? Who am I working so hard for? Myself? My parents? My SO? My future kids? To tell you the truth, that scares me. I figured I needed to find my purpose in life to answer that question. Now I am not an overtly religious person. I believe sometimes.

But, who decided that we had to follow a certain path to be successful at “just living”. I followed it blindly. If I made a mistake during this path, I beat myself up. It was hard to be someone that fit into this perfect mold that others made. So many thoughts that I thought I was loosing my mind trying to find this perfect me with a purpose and working towards that perfect life dictated by many before me.